The First Debate part II

I remember this shot.

It was after the Debate brainstorming we had, and it was a fruitful session. We have all the points we need for Friday, and it's just about polishing up the language we use. I'm actually excited for this whole thing.


What I'm not looking forward to is deciding on how to proceed with this relationship/friendship I have with Felicity.

I have nothing but love for this girl. I missed her for the better part of 6 years after we stopped our friendship. I missed her when she finally...left. I know it seems stupid that I'm even second guessing something like this, but I don't think I should date her.

It's still something I'm wrapping my head around.

Am I in love with Felicity? Truly, am I in love with this Beta-Version of Felicity, or are these emotions just residual emotions I feel for the Alpha-Version of Felicity who died?

Felix and I were walking back home after the meeting, and we ended up talking about trauma, and things that we carry to this day.

F: I think that I'm still trapped in this cycle of hate. I hate my father for always thinking that he has the power over us simply because of his position in the family. He thinks he has the right to hit Mum. He thinks he has the right to hit my elder brother.

Me: I agree. The position of a man in anyone's life is to be conscientious of the inherent physical power that he has by simply being a man. While there are people who use this physical power wrongly, it doesn't mean that it should be some accepted standard. We're in 2016, for heaven's sake.

That was where I made the slip. Felicity politely corrected me, and I just barely managed to cover it up by saying that I was writing a fiction that was set in 2016.

F: Hey Teddy, what do you think about Love?

I didn't know what to say, as we sat down to admire the sunset. I knew that question was loaded, and I remember saying something along the lines of how I felt about her.

Me: I think that Love's one of the best things to exist ever.

And I think that my understanding of love was shallow back in my original time. I love Felicity, but I know that my presence in her life romantically is the start of her death.

 F: Oh. (Laughs) Because for a second I thought that you were going to say that you loved me.

Me: You and me? That's a bad idea! We're both too rash. If we got together, we'd end up taking over the world.

F: (kisses me on the cheek) Then that's a world I'd wish we'd be on. Because then, we would be together. 

And with that, she walked away, waving at me, and walked home to her block.

I wish that this was that world we're on. Perhaps someday.



-Ted

(Originally published 23/4/2016)